Title: Life Sucks Die

Media: Magazine

Reviewer: Pan

This is, without doubt, the most moronic magazine I've seen in years. Life Sucks Die purports to be an underground hip hop magazine, though I find it hard to believe that this is really representative of US hip hop culture in general. Here you can read incisive rants such as 'You want anarchy? Okay, I'm going to burn your parents house down then, smarty pants, how's that for anarchy?', which eventually reaches the inevitable (and tedious) conclusion 'Yeah, Karl Marks-A-Lot, tell me when your graffiti revolution starts so I can move to Afghanistan or Rwanda, please!'. Deep stuff, eh? On the same page you can read the words to the rap 'Illegal Aliens' by the Convicts, which is basically a long and pathetic racist chant against Hispanics/Iranians/Koreans/Nigerians and others. It just serves to prove that black racists are just as moronic as white ones, and it leaves me wondering why the white editors would chose to include such drivel in their magazine.

Other highlights include an interview with 'blood sucking freaks Ink and Dagger', a band from Philadelphia. I was kept awake reading this only because I was trying to work out who the most stupid - the band or the interviewer. In the end I figured it was a draw as nobody had the remotest bit of intelligence or originality. A big chunk of the magazine consists of collages of graffiti tags interspersed with bits of porno magazines - and the porno pictures were way more interesting then the graffiti.

I could go on, it's so easy, but I've already devoted more time and energy than this dross merits. It's hard to believe that anyone would really pay for shit like this. Avoid it like the plague, it doesn't deserve to make it to issue 4.